A conversation that I didn’t expect

My oldest, who will be 8 next month, has dropped some conversations on me in the last couple of months that literally made me stop the car.  Jaw dropping, omg, did she just say that to ME conversations?  I’ve always tried to answer her questions openly and honestly.  I’ve never lied to her.  I’ve answered honestly and openly.  I want her to come to me with her questions…I just wasn’t prepared for them.  I don’t think that I ever had the nerve to ask these questions of my mom…even to this day.  One of the conversations went like this (please keep in mind we’re driving to the bus stop and we weren’t talking about anything…just looking out the window):

Mags:  Mom, why do people have sex before they get married?
Me: Umm…because some people think that they really love someone and want to share their love in all ways possible.  (This question was mind blowing to me, I truly tried not to overreact or hyperventilate!)
Mags: Did you and Dad have sex before you got married?
Me: Um….Mags, I’m going to answer this question, but PLEASE, do not tell ANYONE at school this.  (huge long pause…hoping that she would forget that she asked me this question.  No dice.)  Yes.
Mags:  Ok. 
Mags: You were married before Dad right?
Me: ……Yes.  (I always thought that she didn’t know…apparently, she’s paying more attention that I thought.)
Me: Do you know what sex is?
Mags: When people lay in bed together without their clothes on.
Me: Got it.  Do you want to know anything else?
Mags: No.  It makes my stomach icky when I think about it.

Makes her stomach icky?  I wanted to die.  I wanted to stop the car, get out, and just keep walking.  I wanted to grill her about where she heard these things…but I know where she has heard them.  She’s heard them on the bus, at the playground, everywhere where I heard these things.  This is my punishment for begging my mother to tell me where babies came from when I was in 2nd grade, and her telling me on a Friday night, with my 3 month old youngest sister in her lap, on the floor in the living room, when my dad was at bowling.  It had to be October/November-ish when my mom told me.  It was technical…all the mechanics and requirements of making a baby.  It wasn’t sex.  It wasn’t for anything but having a baby.  How did we get here?  How did we pass up making babies talk and go right to sex?



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One Response to “A conversation that I didn’t expect”

  1. Anne Says:

    Wow! Thanks so much for sharing this… we haven’t had this exact question but plenty of tricky ones. I really applaud your honesty and try to do the same. I am hoping and praying it results in teenagers who still come to me with questions! Maybe by then it will all be easier… Ha!

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